When you’re promoted to a new job, there are a lot of relationships that need recalibrating. You have a new boss, new direct reports, and, importantly, a new set of peers — people who had been above you on the org chart but are now on the same level. How can you show you have what it takes to be their equal without appearing arrogant? How do you break out of the mentee/mentor dynamic? And what should you do about that one colleague who doesn’t take you seriously?

What the Experts Say
Congratulations on your promotion — now you need to prove you’re worthy of it in the eyes of those who have known you as an underling. “Any time you change your role or you get promoted, there’s a change in the rules of engagement,” says Amy Jen Su, managing partner of Paravis Partners and coauthor of Own the Room. She recommends staying focused on the long term. Your peer group “represents a potentially powerful coalition,” she says.“They are your sounding boards and sources of support.” Developing these relationships in a meaningful way requires methodical effort, says Michael Watkins, the chairman of Genesis Advisers, a professor at IMD, and the author of the expanded edition of The First 90 Days. “You need to fundamentally reset how people see you,” he says. Here are some pointers on how to do that.

Think positively
“It’s understandable that you may feel vulnerable and insecure,” around your new peers — especially at first, says Watkins. “You are stepping up to the big leagues.” You may even suffer from a touch of imposter syndrome. But you mustn’t let self-doubt get the better of you. And don’t assume the worst. It’s highly likely that these people “weighed in on your promotion” and believe you are up to the task, adds Jen Su. “They see you as qualified and capable and ready for the job.” Try not to get consumed by actively “trying to prove yourself” to your new peer group, she says. The danger is that you come across as “trying too hard, grasping, overly dogmatic,” or even as “trying to one-up” your peers. Summon all the poise and confidence you can muster. “No one can see you a certain way without you first seeing yourself that way.”

Project professionalism
Be confident — but not overconfident. Otherwise you risk being seen as “too big for your boots,” says Watkins. Think about “how you want to be perceived” by your peers, and “how they will form opinions” of you, says Watkins. Go in with a collaborative mindset. “You want to be viewed as a person [others] can work with,” he says. Your goal is to demonstrate that “you’re someone with a depth of knowledge but who also wants to learn and help.” Your early interactions with people who are accustomed to thinking of you as a junior colleague can be a delicate dance, adds Jen Su. Project competence. “Show conviction;” but be humble about it. “Don’t be deferential; be appropriately respectful.”

Build bridges
When you’re the new kid on the block, it’s “incumbent on you” to reach out to your colleagues and try to get to know them, says Watkins. Upon starting the job, he recommends scheduling “a series of one-on-ones” with your new peers and talk about how you will best work together going forward. “Ask: What should I know about the team?” These conversations needn’t be confined to conference rooms or cubicles, adds Jen Su. She suggests inviting them out for coffee or lunch — “there’s huge value to spending informal time with your colleagues batting ideas around.” Your objective is to become a “good thought partner” to your peers. “Seek to understand their perspectives,” she says. “Ask for their input — not because you need their permission, but because you appreciate their counsel.”

Understand team dynamics
You also need to acquire a deep understanding of “the dynamics of the team,” says Watkins. In particular, he recommends, “paying a lot of attention to influence dynamics.” Figure out who “your boss trusts, who your boss listens to, and who other people on the team defer to.” Jen Su agrees: “Any time you onboard into a group dynamic, it’s wise to spend time getting the lay of the land. Understand how the team operates, how communication flows, how decisions get made, and where people’s hot buttons lie.” But, she cautions, don’t stay in observation mode too long. “You eventually want to go from learner to contributor to leader.”

Tread lightly at first
You might be eager to share your ideas about how the team should run and where the business ought to focus, but it’s wise to temper your enthusiasm — especially at the beginning. “There is a tendency to want to come in, plant a flag and say, ‘Hear me roar,’ but there is nothing to be gained by coming in noisy,” says Watkins. And it might rub longtime team members the wrong way. Instead, “sit back and listen. Figure out your role and then decide how and when you will assert yourself.” When you are ready to speak up, “focus on what’s best for the business versus trying to make yourself look good,” says Jen Su. “Your peers will see you have the business’ interests at heart.”

Be patient
Recasting your professional persona takes time and your colleagues’ opinions of you may not shift overnight. Be prepared, too, that certain tough cookies on your team might try to test your mettle by, say, treating you like an assistant or ignoring you altogether. Whatever you do, “don’t take it personally,” says Jen Su. “The more you let this person get under your skin, the more they will poke you.” Watkins recommends “cultivating a thick skin and setting boundaries” of what are you and aren’t willing to do. “Otherwise you risk getting run over.” It’s also important that you not lose sight of the relationships that matter most. “What your peers think about you is important, but what your boss thinks about you is very important.”

Principles to Remember

Do

• Demonstrate that you want to learn and collaborate with your new peers.
• Pay close attention to team dynamics. Figure out how decisions get made and how communication flows.
• Figure out your role on the team and then decide how and when you will assert yourself. 

Don’t

• Try too hard to prove yourself — it may come across as grasping. Summon your inner confidence.
• Be deferential; be appropriately respectful.
• Let your pride get the best of you. Recognize that people’s views of you are not going to shift overnight.

Case Study #1: Summon your inner confidence; make an effort to get to know your colleagues
When Nate Masterson was promoted to Chief Marketing Officer for Maple Holistics, the New Jersey-based natural hair and beauty company, he suffered from a touch of imposter syndrome.

“It was difficult to project confidence in such a state,” he says. “It is not easy being the new guy — especially if you are not new! I was the old guy who’d been given a new task, a new title, and a new office. I felt insecure at first, I won’t lie.”

To overcome his self-doubt, Nate focused on the positive — namely his “very supportive team of peers” that welcomed him to the new role. In fact, several of his them went out of their way to express their confidence in him.

“I was able to navigate that initial period because there was no drama, and because people had faith in me and my abilities,” he says.

In order to deepen his relationships with his new coworkers, Nate asked each of them out individually for lunch. He already knew them, of course, but since they were now peers, he wanted to discuss the best ways they could work together. “I had been part of Maple marketing for a while, and I knew the nature of the beast; but being promoted to CMO meant adapting a wider view,” he recalls. “I wanted to know how they did their job and where they saw their divisions headed.”

Nate also sought to get to know them on a personal level. “I asked if they had any books to recommend or podcasts they followed,” he says. “I asked them about how they maintained work/life balance —  something I didn’t really have to contemplate as a 9-5 marketing guy.”

In the early days of his new job, Nate made sure to do a lot of listening and observing. “I wanted to understand how the team functioned and see where I might fit in,” he says. “It was really important for me to get a sense of how the management team operated and debated and made decisions.”

His advice to others trying to prove themselves to new peers: Be the professional you were promoted to be. “As long as you do your best to maintain your professionalism — and as long as you are not surrounding with people who want the worst for you — you will be able to make it past the more awkward phases, and come out a better and more seasoned worker,” he says.

Case Study #2: Demonstrate you have the company’s interests at heart; stand your ground
When Christopher Smithmyer was promoted from senior instructor to Strategic Resource Development Coordinator at Brāv Online Conflict Management, a web-based mediation company, his first priority was to reestablish relationships with his new peers.

It wasn’t always smooth sailing. “Over the course of my career, I’ve seen numerous examples of colleagues treating new leaders as assistants,” he says. “I would like to say that I used this knowledge to keep it from happening to me; however, I cannot.”

After he got promoted, Christopher says that his workload quintupled. This was mainly due to the fact that several of his peers gave him all of their international projects. “Many of the projects were redundant and could be culled,” he says. “But there were a few projects I got tasked with that had nothing to do with me.”

Christopher knew he needed to talk to his peers about the situation but he didn’t want to get caught up in the workplace politics. So he framed the conversations in terms of trying to do what “was in the best interest” of the company.

“I sat with each of my colleagues and discussed my new role and how it related with theirs,” says Christopher, adding that the conversations were professional and straightforward. “I pointed out how dividing responsibilities in a certain way would benefit the company. While this did ruffle a few feathers, most of my colleagues [ultimately agreed].”

One colleague, however, continued to challenge him on the division of international projects and various other issues. “I needed to stand my ground and consistently lay out my reasoning,” he says.  “I realized that as a member of management, I now had a duty to use my voice to protect the company.”

Over time, the colleague stopped testing him and grew to appreciate Christopher’s perspective. “Being a team player is never easy, but if you base your decisions on what is best for the company then you should always be on solid ground.”

from HBR.org https://ift.tt/2KhEHpr