A great dinner, one might argue, is still incomplete without appetizers and a mouth-watering dessert.

Similarly, when it comes to feedback, your main course is only one-third of the conversation. What comes before it (appetizers) and what follows it (dessert) will determine the quality and effectiveness of your message.

There’s a whole leadership industry out there talking about how to deliver constructive feedback. However, what’s being ignored at the peril of managers is how to begin and end the conversation. Think of it like a pre- and post-feedback cue.

Influence author and psychologist Robert Cialdini talks about the importance of “pre-suasion,” which is the process of arranging cues for recipients to be receptive to a message before they actually hear it.

How, then, do we coach our direct reports to be receptive to a message that is undoubtedly hard to swallow?

Let’s start with our appetizer first.

Research (paywall) done by a team of psychologists at Stanford, Yale and Columbia University have identified a 19-word script that results in feedback becoming 40% more effective. It’s a one-word phrase that’s so effective that psychologists call it “magical feedback.” Here’s the actual script:

“I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations, and I know that you can reach them.”