When I sat down at my desk at PS 90 in The Bronx as a new kindergartener, I remember looking up at my teacher and my mom, each looking at me with that look of adoration that adults have for little children. My mom told me that she would be back for me later and that I should listen to my teacher.

But it didn’t take long for me to realize that in addition to being able to read, do math and write, I was being taught to “Be quiet. Do what you are told when we tell you to do it, or else you will get bad grades.” As I got older, the threat became, “Or else you won’t get into college.” Once in college, the threat became, “Or else, you won’t get a good job.” Once working, the threat escalated to “Or else, we’ll fire you.”

There are many other examples of “the conveyor belt of life,” but my question for you is, how happy are you today with what you do professionally? At the end of each day, do you feel exhausted by being in the game or exhilarated by it? Are you part of a working environment that commoditizes you and your work while spouting platitudes about how employees are their most important asset? Are you actively engaged with your work in ways that you feel delighted or fighting with quicksand that eventually devour you or force you to flee?

From my time in executive search and now as a coach, I’ve observed that most employees of organizations have outsourced their career planning and thinking to employers who do not have their best interests at heart. The lesson is reinforced that compliance is essential. “We want to hire team players,” the job posting, HR recruiter and hiring manager all coo as though this is a good thing. Being docile, like in school, is a valued behavior.

Is it any wonder that employee engagement data consistently shows that more than two-thirds of U.S. employees are either actively disengaged or neutral when thinking about being connected to their employer?

You need to take control of your life and career and start creating your own rules of engagement, starting with small steps in the right direction for you.

Starting with the end in mind, ask yourself: “In 10 years, where do I hope to be professionally?” Define everything about the role imaginable, including location, compensation, workday, industry, etc. Every detail that comes to mind is a valid answer.

Next, start networking with people who are currently doing that work and ask them about their career progression. Listen, learn and ask questions. Set up meetings by phone, Skype and in-person. Have friends, family, former colleagues, parents, accountants, lawyers or anyone you know set up introductions for you.