In my many years as an advisor, speaker and professional, I’ve seen leaders stress the emphasis on vision and excellence over and over again. You might even be doing that yourself. But I’ve discovered that stressing those points simply isn’t enough. Unless you have an emotional connection with the people around you, I hate to tell you, but you run a serious risk of coming across like a demanding jerk.

So then the question becomes, “What’s the best way to build an emotional connection?” To find an answer, I led an experiment that proved when you practice emotional connectedness, you can get what you want and need. 

For the experiment, I divided workers into two groups, one of which was guided by a facilitator and one that was left alone to direct themselves, both with the same ask: “Get to know each other, and decide whether or not you would like to endorse and recommend each other on LinkedIn.” The experiment showed that connections are built best when someone facilitates or guides a group and that people retreat into their own comfort zones if left to their own devices. Based on the behavior of the groups, I’ve pinpointed some key recommendations for forming better bonds in any organization, as well as some common behaviors to get rid of.

Five Connection Essentials  

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

Members of the first group were given time to work out why they were trustworthy, honest and respectful team players. They then discussed their self-analysis with a partner from the group. Finally, each pair shared what they’d learned about their partners with the entire group by introducing them. When group members realized that their colleagues were committed to their success and interested in their career, they reciprocated that commitment and enthusiasm back.

2. Create equal airtime opportunities and encourage others to talk about themselves.

Each person in the first group was given time to share their discussions and commitment to their colleagues. When you allow people to voice their thoughts and suggestions in this way, you showcase your respect for them, which only improves their self-esteem and performance in the workplace. Respect for others’ time for sharing, known as “group airtime,” also helps people feel valued and reduces the odds of developing the impression of favoritism or an “us vs. them” culture.