Much has been written about productive conflict being essential to highly functioning relationships and teams. In his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, Patrick Lencioni states: “All great relationships, the ones that last over time, require productive conflict to grow.”

Unfortunately, however, conflict very often becomes unproductive and stressful. I have found that employing these seven techniques can help de-escalate conflict and reduce stress in order to achieve the best possible result.

1. Keep your cool.

If you are upset, it will only escalate the situation. It is vitally important to create space between stimulus and response. Slow the situation down and suspend judgment. Mindfulness techniques work well to get the rational section of your brain to re-engage after it has been hijacked by the emotional portions of your brain.

For starters, take a deep breath with a slow exhale, but be careful to not appear as though you’re sighing or showing a sign of disrespect to the person you are interacting with. At this point, the situation demands your full attention and that you be present and nowhere else mentally.

2. Note your tone of voice, posture, and facial and body expressions.

All of these need to be as non-threatening as possible, and it is likely that you are already in a defensive posture. Avoid crossed arms and defensive gesturing. Keep your shoulders low and maintain eye contact at the same level as the person you are communicating with. Any dominant gesture is likely to make the situation tenser.