In the world of leadership, soft skills are truly integral to the success of those wanting to move up in an organization. So often, when I teach leadership classes or do one-on-one executive coaching with my clients, I see that they are very technically competent (e.g., engineers, IT professionals, scientists or attorneys) but do not always have the people skills that are truly necessary to lead. They are often very adept in the technical skills and have been rewarded through promotions, but they are not often trained in the competencies that could make them truly successful.

The people skills are those that relate to emotional intelligence. Data shows that intelligence (IQ) often gets you in the door for a job, but emotional intelligence (EQ) is what helps leaders to move up more quickly. When an employee moves into management and leadership, their responsibility becomes less about doing the work and more about managing the people. And emotional intelligence can be learned; like a fine wine, emotional intelligence can come with age and maturity.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is often defined as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.”

EQ, then, is the way that we become aware of our own emotions, understand how to manage those emotions, become aware of other people’s emotions and interact with others. All of these skills are at the heart of how we understand ourselves and build healthy relationships with others. And as we lead, the skills of emotional intelligence become more and more important in order to influence others, manage conflict, have empathy and build strong relationships.

What are the components of emotional intelligence?

As a coach and practitioner, I often use the EQ-i 2.0 model of emotional intelligence. It breaks EQ down into five components:

1. Self-Perception: understanding and awareness of your own emotions
2. Self-Expression: expressing your emotions
3. Interpersonal: developing and maintaining relationships
4. Decision Making: using emotions to make better decisions
5. Stress Management: coping with stress and other challenges

These five components make up the whole, and within each component, there are three further sub-components.  You can take as many self-surveys to determine where they fall in each category, or you can also take a 360 assessment to determine where they stand compared to others’ perceptions of them. Every time I have conducted an EQ 360, it has been quite eye-opening for the individual receiving the results. Blind spots in the 360 can sometimes derail the advancement of an individual rather than moving toward continued leadership results.