Straightforward, honest feedback is a rarity in many corporate cultures. Feedback can sting, and we fear both giving and getting it. It can change the course of someone’s plan. Offered with thought and emotional intelligence, the best feedback has the power to create the kind of self-awareness that can not only change performance but change lives.

As a coach who is often called in to help executives and teams become more self-aware and ultimately more effective as leaders, I see how often critical feedback is sidestepped. And I see the cost.

This lack of feedback is not limited to individual relationships. I have worked with many boards and executive committees in which one member’s point of view may diverge, yet they confide that they are reluctant to speak up, cautious about appearing to differ or challenge the consensus of the group. When they share with me what they might have said had they the courage, we often recognize the wisdom in those words that were not spoken.

Let’s assume you have a senior leader whose performance is slipping. You don’t want to make waves, and they are too valuable to lose, so you drop subtle hints hoping they’ll pick up on them. At the end of the day, you find yourself frustrated and angry and you find the problem unsolved.

If a senior leader is too valuable to lose, direct, constructive feedback is the most valuable thing you can do to keep them.

If you’re the CEO or leader of your organization, think back on how you got to this point. Chances are, you’ve had a mentor or benefitted from hearing feedback that cut to the chase. But that kind of feedback, the kind that stops you in your tracks and resonates with truth, is offered rarely. It takes courage, both on the part of the recipient and the provider. It is usually the reason we are moved to do something differently from how we originally intended, and it is often the inspiration we point to when we point to profound moments of our personal growth.

We need to accept the fact that good feedback will sting. The recipient will heal, having taken in a piece of advice or information that may forever change their course. It’s worth the pain and our own discomfort in delivering it. I sometimes ask my clients, “What is the most valuable feedback you have received in your career?” You might expect them to say something lofty, about how to win or how to do something big. But in fact, they often cite the kind of things that go directly to the heart of it. Simple, direct, pinpointed feedback that, as I put it, pulls up a window shade. And more than likely, it was hard to hear.