With workplace bullying an ever-present issue, it is increasingly important to educate both the bullies and the bullied on signs of emotional abuse and what to do about it. What may be perceived as “harmless jokes” can actually cause great harm leading to everything from mental and physical distress, post-traumatic stress disorder and absenteeism. The bottom line is this: When employees are disgruntled, productivity and profitability wain.

Let’s call a sheep a sheep: If you are teasing someone and you know it is hurtful or consistently aggravating, you are abusing a victim, not goading a friend. When someone asks you to stop a behavior or action or is visibly distressed, it is time to stop. Abuse is abuse. Conversely, if someone at work is taking their actions too far, it is important to come up with strategies to protect yourself, limit your exposure to that toxic environment or get out. Abuse, by its very design, aims to keep victims powerless. When you take back your power, you can tip the scales and find success. 

We live in a culture of both victimization and writing people off instead of real conflict resolution and confronting difficult conversations. If you have faced workplace bullying — from angry managers calling to demean or derail your work to teasing that goes too far and makes you feel two feet tall or even the “trickle-down” effect of passing on your leader’s anger to those beneath you on the leadership totem — it is important to recognize two key pieces of information:

1. There are no “bad” people. In many cases, the bully or victimizer can be rehabilitated — and may even be dealing with a degree of bullying in their own position.

2. Workplace bullying is never OK. In accepting other people as human and fallible, it is in no way saying they should not be treated with respect at all times. 

Allow me to elaborate.

1. There are no “bad” people.

There is a lot of talk about narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths in coaching materials and self-help books. I would go so far as to say that there are a lot more hidden alcoholics and simply mean people. I do not like the term “bully” — I feel it neglects to acknowledge the humanity of the person behind such negative behaviors. It puts this person in the “bad guy” category instead of acknowledging that the tools being used by this person are ineffective. In many cases, behavior can be relearned, relationships foraged and repaired.