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Post written by

Erin Urban

Professional & leadership development coach, founder of UPPSolutions, with a mission to empower successful professional transformations.

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The office: It’s not quite a popularity contest, but it may seem that way. Perhaps only a few on your team get all of the attention and certainly most of the praise. You also might wonder why you aren’t a part of the “in” crowd because you work just as hard. You’ll be relieved to know there’s a simple science to explain how popular professionals get ahead.

The Secret Sauce: Likeability

The secret sauce to almost everyone’s professional success is likeability: a word that is so simple but also deeply misunderstood. Likeability is often confused with negative, status-seeking behaviors that can ultimately push others away. However, UNC Chapel Hill psychology professor Mitch Prinstein says, “People who are well-liked are more likely than their equally-qualified counterparts to be hired, promoted, and even earn higher salaries.”

In other words, almost every professional wants to increase their likeability quotient in order to get ahead. There are perks to feeling like you fit in at work. Being well-liked also can lead to reduced stress, increased work fulfillment, happier personal lives and a potential reduction in anxiety-related disorders. Unfortunately, being likable doesn’t mean you get to slack off on the job.

Managing Your Social Matrix

Humans are social creatures. We all have a deep need to fit into our social matrix and be a part our micro-community. Social matrices are complex and ever-evolving, and they have almost nothing to do with social media. Rather, a healthy social matrix revolves around how people interact with one another in person.

Just as likeability has become confused with grandstanding and social status, the social matrix has become confused with who posts the coolest stuff on social media. Being popular on social media won’t help you engage with people face-to-face. Those who are genuinely likable in person are those who achieve far more success than empty status-seekers.