Imagine what your life as a real estate agent would look like if you couldn’t build rapport with prospects. The words “unfortunate” and “poor” come to mind. I’d go as far as saying that without the ability to build rapport with prospects, you couldn’t survive in the real estate game.

Picture yourself face to face with a prospective buyer or seller without rapport. It’s a cringe-worthy awkwardness — just looking at each other and not talking. Just the thought tightens my stomach.

Without rapport, people are less likely to like you. That’s a huge problem because we know people are more easily persuaded to take a desired action by people they like. (Think about the last time you bought something from someone you didn’t like. See?) In fact, one of the greatest experts on persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini, identifies “liking” as one of the top six elements of persuasion.

But to get people to like you, you have to build rapport first. Can you recall ever approaching a stranger and proclaiming, “Hey, I like you”? After giving you a funny look, they might jump right to calling the cops.

My guess is, if you’ve been in real estate any length of time, you’re probably decent at building rapport. But it wouldn’t hurt to be better at it, right? I’ve worked in sales essentially my entire life (I won’t share how many years that is, but trust me, you can measure it in decades), and this is what I’ve found to be an effective formula:

1. Be a copycat. Remember in grade school how being a copycat was a no-no? Well, today, real estate agents who copycat can become rapport-building gurus. It works like this: When you’re talking with a prospect, subtly mimic their body language. The key word is subtly. If they rest their hand on the table, after a moment or two, put your hand on the table in roughly the same way. Match their speed and style of speech. Take time and care to get in sync with what they’re doing and saying.

2. Get active in your listening. This action is close behind being a copycat. You’ve probably heard of active listening — the concept is simple: Listen to others closely enough so that you can use some of their same language in your responses. Without being a tape recorder, repeat some of the words and phrases they say to show you are communicating in the same manner. It’s even been found to increase the mimicker’s favorability with their conversation partners. When people hear their language repeated back, I think there’s a subconscious thought that occurs to them: “This person talks the way I do. I like that!” Always listen for what you have in common with the prospect and build on this, too. It will give you more to talk about early on in your conversation.