Have you ever said, “I want to go for promotion, but I’m worried that if I don’t stay involved in X project, it won’t get done right,” or, “My boss offered me a special assignment, but I don’t think I can do it given everything I’m juggling,” or, “I want to scale my business, but I’m not a good delegator.”

Many of my coaching clients grapple with the unexamined skill of letting go, especially high-functioning managers/directors. These clients are stuck in the (formally useful) patterns that got them to where they are. Yet, the same patterns that made them successful hold them back from jumping into the next opportunity that will grow their impact or career.

Letting go is essential because it creates space for growth and renewal.

When my clients talk to me about letting go, they are really referring to giving up certainty or comfort. Many of the leaders I work with have to surrender control in order to empower their teams. They have to let go of an identity in order to engage new possibilities and connections.

Letting go of what you’ve created or nurtured takes nerve. So, the first question I ask clients is, are you willing to surrender a well-worn pattern, a role, a set of beliefs or expectations, a feeling of safety or certainty, in order to grow? If their answer is yes, they immediately ask me, “How do I start?”

First, we talk about what letting go is and what it isn’t.

It doesn’t look like giving up.