<p>With these (often well-intended) messages, voices, and opinions in our heads all the time, it can feel impossible to gain the clarity we need to determine if a change is right, and if so, what exactly that change should be.</p> <p>In my own life, I am perceived as a risk taker, dreamer, mover and shaker. But the truth is, there are many things I have thought about doing and haven’t said one word of out loud due to paralyzing fear.</p> <p>In the almost 20 years I have spent helping people transform their lives and careers, it became clear that it wasn’t just me. Change can be overwhelming, and the thoughts and opinions of others can bring us to a full stop.</p> <p>In my own journey and through facilitating the growth of others, there are three consistent truths I have used as guidance through thinking about change and sifting through all the opinions around us.</p> <p><strong>1. You’re not always telling yourself the truth.</strong></p> <p>No, I’m not calling you a liar. Well, not exactly anyway.&nbsp; That voice in your head isn’t objective at all. It took me 30 years to figure that out for myself (insert PSA for therapy!). We have years and years of negative thoughts and beliefs built up as complete truth. As you are thinking about taking a risk or making a&nbsp;change, take a moment to realize the very things you are saying to yourself to deter you from moving forward, as they may in fact not be true at all.</p> <p><strong>2. The baggage of others has nothing to do with you.&nbsp; </strong></p> <p>We are our life experiences and it is nearly impossible to filter out our own beliefs when we consider other people’s. When you encounter someone who feels like they don’t want you to move forward or is always scaring you into not taking action, it’s their own baggage and really has nothing to do with you!</p> <p><strong>3. Always listen to your intuition.</strong></p> <p>I know this seems overly simple, but I am here to tell you we don’t listen to our intuition or our gut as we should. There will always be an initial moment when we have an idea or desire to act, but we ignore it and do nothing. Instead of listening to ourselves, we begin polling the people around us to accumulate opinions, which then just become noise, not clarity.</p> <p>I was surrounded by professionals in corporate America for many years, and I saw this time and time again. Their intuition would tell them they were not fulfilled: It was time to find a new job, leave the company, move to a different department, not relocate for that promotion <span>—</span> and the list goes on.&nbsp; They wouldn’t listen. Then they would become stuck, miserable, and lose confidence in their abilities.</p> <p>Here’s the thing about our intuition: The moment the thought pops into our mind, we should pay attention to it because it’s there for a reason. Often that reason isn’t something we can see in the&nbsp;moment, but it will become clear later on.</p> <p>Change and growth can be exciting and scary. Building our own confidence to move forward isn’t always enough <span>—</span> it is completely natural to want the support of people around us. Let’s face it, we are so lucky to be surrounded by people who love us and care about the things we do in life.</p> <p>But when the combination of yourself and others becomes noise and brings you to a standstill, stop and use these guidelines as a filter to ground yourself as you move forward, whatever that may look like to you.</p>” readability=”118″>

“Can’t you be content?”

“Who do you think you are to believe you could ever do that?”

“You’re all over the place.”

“You can totally do it!”

“Why would you ever try that?”

“Why are you always thinking about the next thing?”

“This is really all there is for you, and you just need to accept it.”

There is a strong possibility one or more of those statements have resonated with you because, as the saying goes, “the only constant in life is change.”

When it comes to thinking about change or making a change in our lives, we have messages and opinions coming from every direction: friends, family, colleagues, bosses and often the toughest critic — ourselves.

With these (often well-intended) messages, voices, and opinions in our heads all the time, it can feel impossible to gain the clarity we need to determine if a change is right, and if so, what exactly that change should be.

In my own life, I am perceived as a risk taker, dreamer, mover and shaker. But the truth is, there are many things I have thought about doing and haven’t said one word of out loud due to paralyzing fear.

In the almost 20 years I have spent helping people transform their lives and careers, it became clear that it wasn’t just me. Change can be overwhelming, and the thoughts and opinions of others can bring us to a full stop.

In my own journey and through facilitating the growth of others, there are three consistent truths I have used as guidance through thinking about change and sifting through all the opinions around us.

1. You’re not always telling yourself the truth.

No, I’m not calling you a liar. Well, not exactly anyway.  That voice in your head isn’t objective at all. It took me 30 years to figure that out for myself (insert PSA for therapy!). We have years and years of negative thoughts and beliefs built up as complete truth. As you are thinking about taking a risk or making a change, take a moment to realize the very things you are saying to yourself to deter you from moving forward, as they may in fact not be true at all.

2. The baggage of others has nothing to do with you. 

We are our life experiences and it is nearly impossible to filter out our own beliefs when we consider other people’s. When you encounter someone who feels like they don’t want you to move forward or is always scaring you into not taking action, it’s their own baggage and really has nothing to do with you!

3. Always listen to your intuition.

I know this seems overly simple, but I am here to tell you we don’t listen to our intuition or our gut as we should. There will always be an initial moment when we have an idea or desire to act, but we ignore it and do nothing. Instead of listening to ourselves, we begin polling the people around us to accumulate opinions, which then just become noise, not clarity.

I was surrounded by professionals in corporate America for many years, and I saw this time and time again. Their intuition would tell them they were not fulfilled: It was time to find a new job, leave the company, move to a different department, not relocate for that promotion — and the list goes on.  They wouldn’t listen. Then they would become stuck, miserable, and lose confidence in their abilities.

Here’s the thing about our intuition: The moment the thought pops into our mind, we should pay attention to it because it’s there for a reason. Often that reason isn’t something we can see in the moment, but it will become clear later on.

Change and growth can be exciting and scary. Building our own confidence to move forward isn’t always enough — it is completely natural to want the support of people around us. Let’s face it, we are so lucky to be surrounded by people who love us and care about the things we do in life.

But when the combination of yourself and others becomes noise and brings you to a standstill, stop and use these guidelines as a filter to ground yourself as you move forward, whatever that may look like to you.